Friday, December 14, 2012

When Sorry Doesn't Cut It


I hate to be a downer, especially so close to the end of my blog year, when I should be whooping myself into a frenzy of excitement.  There is just too much in the news to ignore.  Among these things is the recent tragedy surrounding the London nurse who was duped into providing medical information to crank caller radio DJs from Australia. 

I have always been a bit of a royal-buff, fascinated like many Americans by the monarchy that we banned from our shores back in the 18th Century.  I have long followed reports on Prince Charles (as one who shares his birthday, I always felt somehow connected), watched live when he married Diana, and cried while glued to the television the weekend she died tragically.  The recent marriage of Will and Kate is a breath of fresh air in an otherwise gloomy world, their young love welcome as they parade their smiles and goodwill across the globe.  The recent news of their expectancy seems to play right into the hands of the British public, who react in such a proprietary manner to any and all goodness that emanates from the royal couple.

It all came to a halt with a crank phone call.  I have listened with amusement many times while radio DJs called various individuals during their 15 minutes of fame.  It is not unusual to try to reach out during a morning "drive time" to talk to a dog owner, or school administrator, or some other faceless person who was elevated from anonymity by a peculiar circumstance.   I remember, in particular, a DJ’s reaching out to a Midwestern woman who was sued ruthlessly by Donald Trump over the name of her small ceramic studio, “You’re Fired.”  They teased her for daring to cross “The Donald,” when in actuality she was a small business owner whose shop was opened before Donald Trump trademarked his catchphrase.   It was good fun.  But this Australian prank was another matter.  Although impersonating the royals can be inocuous, (and it often is) this act sought as its purpose to expose personal medical information to the public over a live broadcast.  It was ill-conceived and mean-spirited in every way. 

What makes it even sadder is that an exemplary employee became collateral damage.  There was no thought of the consequences to employees who might have been unwittingly caught up in the scheme.  Hospitals today take patient confidentiality very seriously, handling breaches unforgivingly and with dispatch.  In this country, patient confidentiality is the law of the land.  Computer systems keep an audit trail of access to information with date and time stamps.  There are “compliance officers” who are responsible for certifying the policies and procedures that protect patient data.  Information in a medical facility is as protected as funds in a bank.

Now, the Australian radio station is trying to demonstrate an appropriate level of responsibility and remorse, suspending the morally bankrupt DJs “temporarily” and offering to donate advertising revenue through the end of the year to the nurse’s family.  The British authorities, however, are not buying it.  They find these actions to be token efforts at best.  Without a legal means by which to hold the station and the DJs culpable in the nurse’s death, they are calling foul for not issuing formal apology letters to both Kate and the nurse’s family and for deciding unilaterally that half a million dollars is reasonable compensation for a life tragically lost.

I remember as a child learning two very important lessons about responsibility.  The first was to say “I’m sorry.”  It is difficult for a kid (and many adults) to utter these words because it is natural to want to skirt the blame.  Many people issue veiled apologies.  When you listen carefully they are paying lip service to the expected contrition without actually admitting guilt.  We hear, “I’m sorry you got hurt,” as opposed to being sorry for committing the act that did the hurting.  As a kid, I learned to blurt out “Sorry” as a reflex.  I was always being accused of one transgression or another and I hoped the word would shield me from punishment.  But my father, shrewd as he was about crime and punishment, would always force an allocution.  I once made the mistake of offering the childish gem, “I’m sorry for getting caught.”  Needless to say, the idea of responsibility for my actions was a hard-learned lesson.

The other aspect of responsibility that I learned as a kid is that “sorry” does not erase the crime.  I remember my mother’s dramatic recitation:  “If you crash someone’s car, sorry doesn’t fix it.  If you shoot someone dead, sorry doesn’t bring them back.”  The point she was making is that there is a difference between a mistake and an irrevocable deed.  If you make a mistake or have an accident, a heartfelt apology can be just the ticket.  But when you do something deliberately that you know is wrong, an apology is not only inadequate, it is unacceptable.  You cannot be “sorry” for robbing someone’s house, kidnapping their child, or violating their civil rights.  You can only show remorse.

I’m afraid we have reached a point in society where the lines of right and wrong have become so blurred that we can no longer mediate our own behaviors.  Insult comedy, in particular, has changed the canon of what is acceptable and proper.   Seth MacFarlane can represent Sarah Jessica Parker as a horse and it is okay because it’s “comedy.”   It’s no wonder that members of Congress think they can heckle the President during the State of the Union. 

The more our world operates at an arm’s length through invisible and anonymous global wide communication, the less responsible individuals feel for their own actions.  I have seen people shamelessly trashing their Facebook “friends” for having different opinions.  It is so much easier to be callous, insensitive and cruel when you do not have to look someone in the eye.   I feel that society should brand such behavior as cowardly—like shooting someone in the back. 

None of this, of course, will help the family of the poor nurse who answered the phone while on duty and did her job.  Or the princess, whose personal medical report was broadcast halfway around the globe.  I am with the British officials who think that crying on You Tube is not punishment enough for two professionals who used their positions and media credentials to hurt others, knowing that they had no standing to attempt access.  And even though the tragic fate of the nurse was an unintended consequence, it does not exempt the DJs from responsibility for her death.  This was a reckless crime involving an over-reach of power and demonstrating a wanton disregard for privacy and decency.  It may have been perpetrated across a phone line, but it is a line that should never have been crossed.

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