Thanksgiving Ceasefire

Almost every culture around the world has an occasion where the noise of life is paused, allowing everyone to take stock and give thanks.    Because of distance and financial limitations, I stopped celebrating Thanksgiving with my parents and siblings from the age of 18, when I was a freshman in college.  Fortunately, in the spirit of the season, there was always a friend, a professor, or a co-worker who opened their home and their family to include me—and in later years, my husband.  I learned the joy of sharing from these many years of experience, as well as the fun of sampling the wide variety of traditions that people have for this holiday.  Even today, we enjoy spending Thanksgiving with close college friends whose family has become close to our own.  As put so beautifully on “The New Normal,” there are your relatives and then there is the family you chose.

As I write this, my daughter’s flight just landed and I am breathless waiting to hug my little girl who I have not seen since August.  I am also exchanging frequent texts with my son, whose college location makes a long weekend at home logistically impossible.  Fortunately, he has relatives close by and dear friends who fight over including him.  He is not alone, but he is not home either. 

For many people Thanksgiving is a stressful time, inflamed by the need to get along with extended family members.  I choose to spend my Thanksgiving burning my nervous energy with a lot of cooking tasks.   After years of celebrating in other people’s homes, there is nothing I enjoy more than celebrating in my own home.  I love to fill the house with the smells of spices, sage and thyme.  I love the cooler air outside that allows us to build a raging fire inside.  And I love the savory leftovers that make a special celebration linger for days afterward.

This year, as always, there is so much for which to be thankful.  Unfortunately, this day I enjoy so much is coming on the tails of a horrific storm that has caused so many people’s lives to be devastated.  In addition, it punctuates a week-long barrage of violence in Israel.  It feels a bit self-indulgent to count my blessings while so many people are finding their own come up short.  Please join me in saying a special prayer of peace and healing.  As many families do on this day when they sit together to break bread, let us all lay down our differences and find common ground as human beings.   Let us help instead of hurt.  Let us take time to listen and understand.   Let us appreciate what others bring “to the table.”   There is nothing to gain from looking backward; we must look forward to peace.