Where To Go For Vertigo

Over the past ten years or so I have occasionally suffered bouts of vertigo.  Benign positional vertigo is a quirky condition where small crystals or particles become loose in the ear’s semicircular canals.  Sharp or repetitive movements cause the particles to irritate the fluid in the canals, interfering with the body’s natural gyroscope function, and causing a sensation that the room is moving in a circular motion.  Normally when I experience this condition, the episodes occur over a few days or a week and then go away.  Not so these last few weeks.  I’ve been in a nearly continuous sensation of free fall, becoming queasy from even the most subtle head movements.

It was an interesting coincidence that my nephew came to visit last weekend.  A soon-to-be graduate of medical school who aspires to become an ENT (ear, nose and throat) specialist, he was up here to secure an apartment for his surgical internship at a prominent Boston teaching hospital.  It was fun hanging around with him for several days.  It was also quite amusing to bear witness to the nearly constant use of technology by this younger generation.  There was scarcely a moment when his smartphone was not gripped in his hand, harvesting some kernel of trivia or confirming a disputed fact.

So there we were, watching television, when I slid sideways to recline on the throw pillows.  This movement activated the vertigo, causing my mind to perceive that the room had begun orbiting around me.  I grabbed my head and closed my eyes, anxious to bring in the spacecraft for a safe landing without losing the late contents of my dinner.   By the time mission control stopped cheering, my nephew—who was sitting next to me on the sofa with my laptop—had Googled a You Tube video demonstrating something called the “Epley Maneuver.”  This maneuver, which resembles a benign form of exorcism, was designed to drive the loose particles through the otogenic labyrinth by holding the head in a series of angled positions.   

I had been evaluated several times for this condition by physicians and all of them had been unimpressed.  Their object was always to rule out anything malignant and then, with a yawn, send me on my way.  “It should stop eventually,” they would promise, and then with a wink, “If not, feel free to come back.”  It was a waste of time and a waste of money to seek medical attention.  Never had any of my doctors suggested that there might be a treatment for this annoying condition.

By yesterday morning I had had enough.  My husband Googled the Epley Maneuver and studied its many subtleties and disclaimers.  It was enormously uncomfortable, but when he was finished twisting and turning my lowered head I was able to sit up successfully without the familiar sinking feeling.  I sat quietly through most of the afternoon, and then ventured out last night for a Boston Symphony concert.  Finally, I went to bed and was able to roll from one side to the other comfortably for the first time in weeks.

When I woke up this morning it hit me:  this is the healthcare revolution we have all been waiting for.  How better to reduce the burden on the healthcare dollar than to turn it into a DIY industry?   Intrigued, I went to YouTube and searched on a variety of healthcare terms.  I discovered that this was not a new idea at all.  YouTube already contained a wide variety of DIY diagnostic tools, enough to identify whether you are suffering from schizophrenia, autism, diabetes, HIV and pregnancy.   If you suffer from chronic shoulder pain, simply launch a video to determine which of the most common causes is yours.  Are you plagued by acne scars or fibromyalgia?  Never fear.  YouTube will have you treating these conditions at home without so much as an office visit or co-payment.  And if your significant other or house guest happens to suffer from an acute cardiac event, just follow along with the video as you perform CPR.

The range of medical content on YouTube is simply staggering.  An experienced DIY expert will love the exposure to an assortment of new tools and gadgets while learning a brand new skillset, such as how to perform an angioplasty, a laparoscopic appendectomy, or a total knee replacement. 

As we debate the future of mandatory health insurance, let’s not fail to examine all the available options.    Not only should we fight back against government mandates, let’s eliminate the ultimate middleman:  the doctor.   Thanks to the Internet, the mystery of the medical degree has been dispelled.  Knowledge is ubiquitous and it is ours for the asking.  Why should we pay top dollar to elite professionals?  Why tolerate government regulation?  Everything we need to know to take care of ourselves is immediately available and free.  And because it’s on the Internet, we know it’s true.

Tomorrow's blog:  Phantom Parents