Monday, April 23, 2012

Teenage Mutant Ninjas


I became aware this week that in six months I will no longer be the mother of teenagers.  I confess to indulging in a brief happy dance at this thought.  The teenage years are no picnic for any parent.  On the other hand, it is a bittersweet passage.  There is something oddly comforting in teenage angst.  Though my heart bleeds for the pain of their youthful awakening, the fact that my kids still need me anchors my world.  I am reluctant to let go; yet I find that as they loosen their grips the effect is the same.  And though this is done by degrees over many years, that final release will feel as sudden and shocking as if it occurred all at once.

I remember with amazing freshness the first time my son admonished me for saying “I love you” audibly as he went off with his friends.  The look in his eyes was a combination of horror and mortification.  Later, he confronted me, asking me if I would stop making this embarrassing declaration.  “It’s not that I don’t love you back,” he explained.  “Just please don’t say that in front of my friends ever again.”  Then he suggested that when he goes off with the boys he would touch his finger to his nose.  “That way, mom,” he offered, “you’ll know that I’m thinking about loving you even though I don’t say it aloud.”

This is a sharp contrast to the tender moments with my daughter.  At about the same age, I simply became irrelevant to her.  This was conveyed by a roll of the eyes and the tender words, “Yeah, right.”

I love my children to distraction, and I love them equally.  But this is not to say that they are the same in any way.  They could not be more different in humor or temperament.  From the earliest moments after birth they were like night and day.  My son was independent, arching his back if I held him too tightly in my arms.  My daughter, by contrast, was born to “coze”—she was perfectly happy to be my own living baby doll.  As teenagers, these differences played out predictably.  My son was anxious to buy his own clothes, to drive a car, and to live independently.  My daughter resisted growing up.  I literally had to force her to get her driver’s license.  Although she is wonderfully accomplished, she is also very close with her mother.  Our similarities—not just physically, but also across a wide range of proclivities—are almost frightening.  We sometimes joke that we are a single brain in two bodies. 

This is why the rite of passage affected me differently with my two kids.  My son managed his own emotional growth smoothly.  When it was time to go off to college, I accompanied him on the long trip to the West Coast.  Because of the vast distance, I planned to stay around for a few days as a safety net.  On the first day, we unpacked all of his things.  I hung up his clothes and made his bed.  He then looked at me, gave me a hug in thanks, and said, “Bye, mom.”  With no apparent usefulness, I showed up at my mother-in-law’s house.  Playing a funny sort of latter day “odd couple,” she and I palled around for the rest of my stay as I waited in vain for a desperate call from my son.

With my daughter, however, the teenage journey affected me more personally.  Her brand of independence seemed to come at my expense.   It was less a matter of proving her self-sufficiency as it was proving to herself that she was not me.   I found it difficult to acquiesce to her need for space when it was accompanied by disrespectful verbal jabs.  I could yield to the first, but not to the second.  It made for a tough few years, but she always found a way to let me know that she was still the same person deep inside.  There was one particular moment before my father’s funeral when she squeezed my hand and held it tightly, communicating to me in that moment that she got me like no one else.

I am not alone among mothers who are continually baffled by teenage daughter behavior.  It was explained to me that we tend to treat our children like dogs.  We say “don’t do this” and “don’t do that” until we are blue in the face, (tempting us, no doubt, to wish we could swat them on the nose with with a rolled up newspaper).  Then we are shocked when they act out defiantly under our noses—the behavioral equivalent of pooping on the carpet.  The problem is that daughters are not dogs, they are cats.  Our admonitions fall on deaf (or is it indifferent?) ears.  We are no more able to train our daughters how to act than we are to teach a Siamese to stay off the sofa.

My daughter’s college fencing coach, a former Olympian and Hall-of-Famer who has coached an exclusively women’s team for 36 years, explains it this way.  She said you must think of a teenage daughter’s brain as teeth.  As they are growing up, their brain is like baby teeth.  Then, sometime during high school, just like deciduous baby teeth, their brain falls out.  For an unpredictable period of time, your daughter is walking around with no brain at all; this is reflected in all manner of irresponsible and defiant behavior.  Then one day, her adult brain begins to grow in.  With that, she begins to assume the characteristics of the adult she will become. 

I am happy to report that I am beginning to see signs of adult brain in both of my kids.  I just hope that when all is said and done, I’m not as lame to them as I was during their teenage years.  Yeah, right!





Tomorrow's blog:  Post-Dramatic Stress

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